Comments on iamhusband.com: "Is There Anything I Can Do To Help?"

This is so true. I'm very blessed to have learned ...

2008-10-07T00:21:00.000+03:00

This is so true. I'm very blessed to have learned early that my husband can not read my mind. He'll help me in any way he can, as long as I ask for help and tell him exactly what it is that I want him to do.

I think women also need to understand than men are not intuitively able to see what it is that we want them to do in order to provide us with assistance.

My marriage has been a very difficult process, but...

2008-09-30T15:46:00.000+03:00

My marriage has been a very difficult process, but I believe it is that way by design. For 33 years we have fought through many a crisis, and I dare say the fight will be until death. I cannot believe nor abide the thought that what we have lived with most of our lives will end when one or both of us pass from this life.

I wrote a poem for my wife

Two as One
John V. Billings
September 2007

How long the process does it take
To render two as one?

One Purpose
Where two ox be yoked
How long ‘til both together work
To make each row plowed true and straight

One Mind
Where two will cogitate
But each know how the other think
And work in tandem to complete
The work that must be done

One Heart
Where two as one do know
The joy or pain of each
E’n though the distance twixt be great

How long
Though both be one by self
And different as the night from day
Be only half until by Father’s love are joined
Become one whole, in Purpose, Mind and Heart
And rendered perfect and complete

Great article. I'm a wife and I love it when my hu...

2008-09-30T14:49:00.000+03:00

Great article. I'm a wife and I love it when my husband asks if he can help - which he very often does. Most of the time it's a no, or a request to play with our son. It makes me feel appreciated when he realises he needs to help out to make my life easier.

So many men think it's OK for their wife to work h...

2008-09-30T03:15:00.000+03:00

So many men think it's OK for their wife to work her ass off and he should just sit in front of the TV, or computer, or play in the garage, and it's ok. It's not. A relationship should be two-way. BOTH people need to give, so both can 'get'. That doesn't mean you're a p*ssy, or "whipped", it means you're a mature confident man that doesn't treat his wife like a maid or servant.
Oddly enough, 5 seconds before I clicked 'Stumble' to get to this article, I asked my wife "Is there anything I can help you with?". She had just ran past me with laundry, so now I'm going to help make our dinner. Cheers. I'm going to eat it, why not help prepare it??? Some guys are such knuckle-dragging neanderthals I'm embarrassed to be categorized with them.

Well, I got to say that communication is always ke...

2008-09-30T02:46:00.000+03:00

Well, I got to say that communication is always key. Is not that we women boss men around, is that we usually DO a lot around the house. We need help, being super woman was left behind in the 90s. I come from work and I am tired and I will have to clean, wash, cook and get everybody ready for next day. That is why we are a team: while I am cleaning the house my husband will expend time with the kids or cook. What happens is that sometimes men are not that aware of what needs to be done and sometimes we get tired of asking please do this and please do that. There is where this question comes in handy. My husband could be helping me by cooking, but I could need more urgent help keeping my 1 year old from painting in the walls while I am doing laundry. The thing is: men dont have to ask this because they are useless, they ask it because it helps communicate better. The same to us: Women have to ask this too!!! Communication is the base of good relationships.

him asking me if i needed any help with anything.....

2008-09-29T19:33:00.000+03:00

him asking me if i needed any help with anything...even just once a day would probably help the nagging wife problem. I wouldn't be interrupting you to ask you to do things if yyou got up and asked me on your own time!

If my husband were to ask what he could do to help...

2008-09-29T12:54:00.000+03:00

If my husband were to ask what he could do to help, it would be very much appreciated, and I am sure that nine times out of ten there would be nothing I would want him to do, but I would feel so good just knowing he would help if the occasion was needed. Women hate to ask men to do things for them...even the 'guy things' that need done.

I don't agree with the comment that marriage is ei...

2008-09-29T05:24:00.000+03:00

I don't agree with the comment that marriage is either like Raymond or King of Queens mainly because the men in those shows are made to look like idiots and good husbands are anything but. I do agree that men should be more aware of the needs of their wife, but my wife gets annoyed when I have to ask if she needs any help. She would rather me just jump in a help do something. She figures that I'm smart enough to figure out what's going on and what needs to be done and she's told me numerous times that "I'm not going to tell you what to do...I'm not your mother."

To the author: thanks for posting this. My husban...

2008-09-29T01:10:00.000+03:00

To the author: thanks for posting this. My husband has started asking this question recently, and it helps a lot. Not only do I often really need the help, but it changes the atmosphere in the house so much when I know he SEES me. It's a very good way of showing that he loves me.

A five-year-old sees mom dashing around working and takes it for granted - it's just what moms do. Grown men can tell when a woman is tired or lonely, and they do something about it.

To the guy above me saying his wife doesn't care w...

2008-09-28T23:58:00.000+03:00

To the guy above me saying his wife doesn't care what he does. I must say to him i feel sorry for him that he isnt getting any sex because life is like everybody loves ramond, or king of queens. Pick your show man. Woman withhold sex and thats fact. u will do things around the house to keep her in good mood.

The following comment was made by an anonymous ...

2008-09-28T22:05:00.000+03:00
The following comment was made by an anonymous reader. Though I don't censor disagreements with what I have written, I am not okay with vulgar language used on this site. I have edited his comment by removing the profanity.

"What a lame article...so sterotypical, what are you like 5 years old? Grow up be a [...] man and stop being such a [...], stop listening to all this married role playing [...] ...if you want to help your wife help your wife, if not dont stop being such a loser. My wife doesn't judge me or expect me to do anything but love her...I'm so tired of this everybody loves raymond type of married [...] where women boss men around and men have no opinions or freedom, not me not my wife...and you men like it your such children that still need mommy."

As a guy who has been with his wife for 7 years no...

2008-09-28T21:35:00.000+03:00
As a guy who has been with his wife for 7 years now, I don't like having to ask if I can help. Just as my wife doesn't always know when I need something (like a beer), how am I to know when she needs something (like help doing the dishes). You can't get mad when you don't ask.

I think this is one reason I will never get marrie...

2008-09-27T09:17:00.000+03:00
I think this is one reason I will never get married. I hate this constant tension between men and women, and I hate feeling like I don't live up to a woman's standards of living at home and in life. Its judgemental, and my life to live as I see fit, without annoyances of judgements or disturbing the way another person chooses to live that is a lot different than mine.

Just my 2 cents..

single and loving it in Canada..

You hit the nail on the head. I have started using...

2008-09-27T09:14:00.000+03:00
You hit the nail on the head. I have started using that statement a lot. Usually I secretly hope that she will say no, but I feel guilty if she does.

The next step up is to do something without asking her. When you just do a few things a day without any prompting, but in plain sight, she will really appreciate it.