December 27, 2012

Create More Than You Consume (In Your Marriage)

Every year about this time we begin thinking about how we want the coming new year to be different—to be better—than the last. We all seem to have a natural desire to grow in some way. Though my temptation is often to think of a whole list of changes I want to make, this year I’m trying to keep it simple. In every area of my life, I want to create more than I consume. I love how simplistic and how hard it is.

Create more than you consume.

We are all trained to be consumers, and that attitude seeps into every area of our lives. It convinces us that the world was made for our effortless enjoyment and turns us all into entitled little rich kids. And we’re carrying this over into our marriages.

I am madly in love with my wife, and I love the relationship we have. In fact, I love my marriage so much that I often simply consume the goodness; I feed off of it when things are going well. Why work hard when things are going so well? However, it's just like our refrigerators: if we don’t replenish that which we are using, we’re going to go hungry.

I’ve started to try and live by this idea of creating more than I consume in all areas, but especially in my marriage. Instead of just feeding off the beautiful fact that my wife and I have a good relationship whether or not the bed gets made in the morning, I’m trying to remember to make the bed. Instead of giving into my desires to consume the day’s headlines or catch up on Facebook, I’m trying to create a happier home by getting to those projects we “never have time for.” These are little things, and that’s why they’re such a big deal.

This New Year’s, I challenge you to create the best marriage you’ve ever had. Stop simply feeding off the good of your relationship. Stop wasting moments in front of the TV or the computer. Take every opportunity to create more intimate moments, more dates, more smiles—more things you can be proud of.

Create more than you consume and you be more fulfilled in every way.


  1. I can't let you know how comforting it is to see that a husband writes about marriage... I know that must sound sexist... but you are the first one that I've met.
    I strongly believe that while both partners need to be committed to the marriage, the marriage holds a much greater success rate when the man is committed. Thank you for encouraging and inspiring me.
    P.S. I have a great, committed husband too... But I can't see him blogging about it... lol :)

  2. A great challenge. I'm up for it. Thanks for writing this.

  3. An amazing page for men to turn to!! Thank you..