May 3, 2011

Your Wife Is Not Blind

For whatever reason, men seem to let their physical selves go after marriage. Husbands get sedentary and are fed three meals a day right around the same time their metabolism is really slowing down. For some reason, that’s just an acceptable place for men to be.

Our wives on the other hand, have a different battle, don’t they? Whenever our wives gain weight we think they should take control of it. They should go to the gym, they should “care” about what they look like. We often hear people say of women “She just let herself go” but we don’t really hear that about men. We joke about the growing spare tire and tell ourselves it doesn't matter because men care about the physical appearance of women more than the other way around. Though to a certain extent that’s true, I have a little secret to share with you today:

Wives want their husbands to be in shape too.

Yes, men are more visually stimulated than women when it comes to sexual attraction, but that does not mean that women do not enjoy looking at nice things. Sometimes we take our wives’ tolerance at the things she sees for blindness. She’s not blind. She would absolutely love it if you cared about your body more. Yes, she’s going to love you despite your ever growing belly, but that doesn’t mean she likes it there.

Do you take care of your physical body? Even if you just work out for twenty minutes every morning at home, your wife and your own body will appreciate you for it. And if you know your wife is struggling and feeling down about her own weight, encouraging her to work out with you is much more effective than telling her she needs to start working out.

When it comes to marriage, we don’t need to guilt ourselves into thinking that our spouse wants a perfectly chiseled model. Your wife wants a husband who cares about himself. Really, when it comes down to it, you are graded for effort.

Are you passing that test?


  1. As a wife, I can attest we are definitely not blind. And the weight gain / lack of attention to your looks can start to affect our...affection...after a while. I think my husband is damn sexy, but when he goes too long without a haircut, skips more than one shower (he works from home), or refuses to watch what he puts into his body, I start to take it a little personally. Am I not worth the effort? Why am I still putting on makeup and blowing my hair out every day? Why am I eating this salad instead of the fried chicken I really want? Because I don't want him to think I think HE'S blind. I think lazy days are fine. Put on some sweats and let's have a threesome with a bag of Doritos. But it's not fair to ourselves or our partners if we let ourselves go.

  2. You are right....we are not blind. I see all of the flaws (physically) that my husband has and it kills me that he will even point out one on me! I don't always share how I feel about his efforts and lack of concern for his health and unfortunately, I gave up trying to help him because he seems not to want it. It is not until he gets sick that he sees what I was telling him the whole time. He has gained a bunch of weight, especially during my pregnancy, he don't always wear cologne, gets reg. haircuts, shave, or anything! He has let himself go down to what he is today....but nonetheless, love that I have for him prevails and at the end of the day, he is still what I want. Me, on the other hand, has had to hear crappy things about how I don't try to impress him, I should loose some weight, I should change up hair styles....I mean need I continue? I think it's unfair....he should look in the mirror!

  3. Why should I dress in "something sexy", yet he won't brush his teeth or even shower daily. And let's not mention the "extra" weight he's put on. I have to listen to the comments about my clothes, make up or hair, and he gets off free? Not fair at all.And if I mention it, I'm being a mean bitch.