Don't Pay Your Electric Bill, Get Closer To Your Wife

Okay so I’m I’m only half-serious with that title—I think.

Tell me if you relate to this: It’s the end of the day, kids are in bed, it’s just the two of you up and...

you’re both on Facebook.

Or she’s watching TV in one room and you’re playing video games in another. No? Well, maybe I’m all alone here, but humor me.

I was just thinking the other day at how different marriages might be if we stopped devoting so much time to the the things that use electricity in our homes. We stay up late on the computer until we can barely keep our eyes open and then just crash next to our wives. Sexual problems in marriage are on the rise—please don’t tell me it’s because we’re up late on Facebook!

My wife and I were traveling overseas a couple years ago and stayed in an apartment that didn’t have a TV, a computer, or an internet connection. After we came home from dinner that evening, things felt wrong. There was no one to call or text. There was no e-mail or Facebook to check. No TV to watch. It was quiet, and it was just the two of us. Call me a hopeless romantic, but I just don’t think a situation like that should be awkward. But I’ll admit: It kinda was.

So what did we do? Well, for starters I brought a book on the trip and actually read it. (I too often say that I “don’t have time to read” but in actuality I’m just doing things that my culture-acquired ADD finds easier.) My wife was reading a book of her own and we enjoyed the intimacy of the silence and of being together. It felt good. It felt peaceful. After the books? We made love. It wasn’t very late so the two of us weren’t exhausted (read: better sex) and afterward we actually fell asleep at a decent time.

It’s a grand irony, isn’t it? Technology makes difficult things easier while simultaneously making simple things harder. And that ironic truth is affecting our marriages in bad ways. There’s not an app that can make your marriage better.

What am I proposing here? I’m not entirely sure. A “No Electronics” rule on a night or two of the week? Maybe. Setting specific times to sit and do nothing together? Possibly. I think I just want us to look at our relationships and see how much we’re paying the electric company to pull our marriages apart. And then take action.

So what do you think? How would marriage be different if you pulled the plug?

Return To Your Roots: Coloring Book Date Idea

One time my wife and I had several days off together and got kinda bored. We had a ten or fifteen dollar Wal-Mart gift card left over from some unremembered thing and decided to go and spend it on something fun. After wandering the aisles for a while, we decided to return to our roots and go Crayola.

We each chose a coloring book, bought a big box of crayons, some Silly Putty (just for kicks) and returned home to have a very unique evening together. It was fun remembering childhood this way. It gave us time to reminisce and time to just sit and talk about life while doing something relaxing.

Go for it.

What Was The Last Thing You Bought Your Wife?

It’s funny how we (as humans) can always justify an expense on ourselves, even if it is not truly what we need; there is always a good reason to get that thing no matter what. Unfortunately, the opposite is rarely ever true. In fact, we are always very quick to remember money is tight when it comes to buying something for somebody else. “Sorry all I could get you was this ninety-nine cent card, but I just went to the movies and got a huge tub of popcorn and some candy and a drink, so I really couldn’t afford it.” It’s sad, really. (Maybe if we actually started saying this stuff out loud we wouldn’t do it so much.)

That said, what was the last little something you bought for your wife? A gift you bought her because you were out and you were “just thinking about” her. Her favorite coffee? A bouquet of flowers (when she’s not sick and when you haven’t been fighting)? A board game? I’d love to hear any recent ideas in the comments, and I’d love to challenge us all who haven’t (myself included) to do that over the next couple of days. Nothing big, but something thoughtful. Remember, the key to a woman’s heart is an unexpected gift at an unexpected time.

Have you tried entering your wife’s heart lately?