April 10, 2010

Our Third Birthday Contest Winner Is...

Our third and final contest for our two-year birthday celebration was the best piece of practical marriage advice you had to give. Our chosen winner is Chris for his submitted idea: Wall Art vs. Kelly Ripa:

My wife went out and bought one of those corny wall-hanging-inspirational-thought-provoking-home-decor pieces that I was asked to put on the wall that faces our bed. It has a bunch of swirly background stuff on it (so very similar to the Union28.net's "I Love My Wife" T-shirt) that matches the decor stuff in our house, and it reads "ALWAYS KISS ME GOODNIGHT." After I hung it on the wall, I thought to myself that I need to, as Captain Picard would say, "Make it so." I vowed to myself that we would never drift off to sleep without sharing kisses and "I Love You's" with each other.

I recently heard Kelly Ripa say on "The Marriage Ref" game show that it's unrealistic advice to promise to ALWAYS go to bed in a loving, or even a congenial mood. Instead, she suggested making sure you use the resting hours to calm down, and then awaken with a loving/forgiving kiss (in order to start the day off right). I don't know if the $20 wall sign from Target is right, or if Kelly Ripa's the one to believe, but either way, we are trying the night-time smooch. It has worked very well so far, and it has had the following positive effects on our relationship so far:

    1. A kiss can bring an end to an argument. (If we are butting heads on a matter, we know we're going to have to kiss before bed, so we'll calm down and come to an agreeable compromise or one of us will come to terms with the other.)
    2. A kiss can pause the argument for the day while giving us something to smile about before tomorrow starts. In other words, we take a Time Out to at least say "good night" on a "good note."
    3. A kiss can cause an unexpected boo-yah. Neither of us might be in the mood for romance, but as soon as our lips lock, a spark sometimes goes off through our physical touch.
    4. A kiss can simply be a kiss. If it's just a normal ho-hum evening, the simplest kiss can bring us both to sleep with a happy smile on our faces.

So, that's what's worked for us, and we're not stopping it any time soon. I hope it helps your readers!

Thanks, Chris! What I like about you sharing this advice is that it is something you have experienced and you have noticed how it's helped your marriage. As a general rule I try not to take marriage advice from Hollywood (though Will Smith might be an exception), so I choose Wall Art on this one.

Well I'm glad you're fond of the swirly art on the "I Love My Wife" shirt because that is exactly what you've won, that and a copy of Dr. Kevin Leman's book Turn Up The Heat.

Thanks for participating in our birthday celebration everyone! I've had fun, and I hope you all have too!

1 comment:

  1. The difference to me, a wife by the way, is that a kiss at night usually results in sharing the bed again. Resolving things in the morning often means that one of you is sleeping on the couch. My husband and I made this a strong and fast rule- we will not separate bed spaces in anger. If you are striving to be unified, running away (or stomping!) to the couch damages the unity that Kelly Ripa is trying to support by her own theory. Staying in bed takes a lot of willpower to say that the marriage comes first.

    Now, on another note, Kelly Ripa actually has a pretty strong marriage, so I wouldn't discount her theories on everything. Maybe just this one.