My heart breaks with all the news on Tiger Woods right now. This kind of news is never pretty in life, but few of us will ever know what it feels like to suffer this kind of embarrassment in front of the world. Though I do believe he should have been found out and in the long run it will be good for him, I don't think he deserves our hate and scorn. Just our prayers would do fine. I follow a photography blog by Scott Kelby and he had an excellent little post about our reaction to this whole fiasco. He described exactly what I was feeling and I strongly recommend that you go take a look at it here.
But all of this news has made me think of something I heard when listening to a marriage seminar recently. The speaker said that an emotional affair always comes before a physical affair. You might want to read that again.
An emotional affair always comes before a physical affair.
I think most of us would swear up and down that we'd never go out and have a physical affair with anyone, but the fact is you may be in the midst of an emotional affair right now. An emotional affair happens whenever you give your mind and heart over to focusing on and thinking about other women. This could be that new coworker who has been so complimenting of your work. This could be a new connection with an old high school friend on Facebook. Most of the time they start out innocently, but over time your heart begins to get attached. This is why porn can be so dangerous in a marriage relationship.
Here are a few indicators that you might be cheating on your wife emotionally:
- You don't talk of other female relationships with your wife. (All of a sudden that "new girl at work" isn't being mentioned at all. Why not?)
- You begin to daydream about the next time you'll get to be around this other woman. (Or can't wait to get online again to see if she responded on Facebook.)
- You begin to get defensive and/or deceitful when your wife casually asks you about that certain someone.
- You don't allow (or don't invite) your wife to know your passwords for your different social accounts online.
- You begin creating events that will allow you more time to spend with this other woman.
These are just a few, but they are biggies. Emotional affairs always come before a physical one. It's why men shamefully rest their head in their hands and ask, "How did I get here?!" If you are noticing that you are drifting away from your wife emotionally, get help now. It won't get better on its own, and it gets messier and messier the longer you wait.