January 15, 2009

A Couple's Spin On Resolutions

Well I am back and ready to start a new year of blogging here at iamhusband.com. I am sorry for my absence over the last several weeks, but it was a break both my wife and I needed to take. I have high hopes for this site over this next year (like breaking the 1,000 mark for our number of subscribers!) and look forward to being much more intentional and regular about my posting here.

Though I missed the Blogosphere's call for New Year's resolutions this year, I did want to share something I heard last week that I thought was a really, really great idea. We're talking New Year's resolutions with a couple's spin. This year, sit down with your wife and make one New Year's resolution for her, and then let her make one resolution for you.

Sobering? Scary? You bet, and that's why it's so great.

I actually hesitated bringing this up to my wife. Sure I had things to suggest for her, but I was afraid of what her resolution for me would be. But what better way to start improving your marriage this year?! Doing this with your wife shows her that though you might not care about the same things that she does, you do want to. It shows her that you want to be a better husband, and wives love to know that.

My one word of advice is to be very sensitive in what you suggest. If your wife struggles with something sensitive like her weight, telling her, "This year I would like for you to start going to the gym" is probably not the best way to talk about it. (Suggesting that "we" start working out more is a much better conversation to have at a separate time. Maybe make this your one resolution as a couple.)

At the same time, however, be thick-skinned as she makes her resolution for you. Don't get defensive, and don't whine (this was your idea, remember). Don't make her regret bringing it up. Take it like a man, then do your hardest (maybe put together a schedule) to really bring this resolution to fruition.

For those of you who decide to do this, I would love for you share what you discussed if it's not too private. My resolution for my wife was that she would learn more about a certain hobby that I have, and hers for me had to do with improving our spiritual lives as a couple.

Isn't this idea great? I just love it.

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  1. You're a braver man than me!

    I'll think about it but it sounds mighty scary!

  2. This really is a great idea, and my wife and I did it for the first time this year. To me one of the greatest benefits is that it is such a powerful way to demonstrate to your wife that you trust her and her judgment, and value her input, enough to sort of "hand her the keys" to your New Year's resolution. It fosters more openness in her communication to you, hopefully.

    So my resolution for my wife was that she try to get out of bed 30 minutes before she anticipates the kids to be awake so she can get her day started before the commotion of the kids sets in. Her resolution for me was to fast from breakfast and lunch for one day every two weeks and devote that time to prayer.

  3. Interesting idea...I'll have to think about this one. I'm not sure what I could suggest to my wife that she wouldn't take offense to.

  4. This is a scream---
    I read it to my husband across the room, and after I read this part:
    "My resolution for my wife was that she would learn more about a certain hobby that I have," we both started laughing.

    No, I will not do a NY resolution with my husband because I know exactly what his would be-- my becoming more involved and interested with his favorite hobby. Thanks a lot--- I love him dearly, but let's just say our levels of frequency for his favorite hobby are somewhat different. (I told him my NY resolution for him would cancel his out, so we would just end up where we started-ha!)