Just To Let Everyone Know...

Just to let everyone know, I am still alive but my wife and I are away on vacation for the next couple of weeks. I don't have immediate access to the internet, so I most likely won't be able to get on and post anything.

I hope you are all having a good holiday season, and that you're being really creative with ways to show your wife how much you love her. Maybe present her with a complete "date night package" for Christmas. Get the whole thing set up in advance, and then print up the schedule all fancy like. Remember: an unexpected gift at an unexpected time.

Do something she's not expecting.

Heat Things Up For Her

In another little way to answer the age old question of this blog, How have I shown my wife that I love her today?, here's another suggestion.

During these cold winter months (for those of you who live in colder regions), go and warm up the car for your wife ten or so minutes before she heads out somewhere. If she leaves for work every day, do it every day. If you know she's getting ready to head out to the store, sneak out there and get it running for her. Leave little "I love you" notes on the dashboard for her. Get creative in making this a meaningful gesture of your love.

But whatever you do, make sure you're coming up with little ways to show her that you love her every single day.

Announcing The iAMHUSBAND Book Store

I recently spent time setting up a store through Amazon.com with many different marriage books I've personally read and have enjoyed. (Most of them I've read myself, but a few have been recommended by close friends.) You can access it anytime through the links in the sidebar.

I've mentioned before how important reading is in marriage. Reading with your wife is a very powerful way to grow in your relationship. Books on being a better husband, being better parents, being better lovers, etc., are all great ways to make your marriage grow. My wife and I recently bought the book Sheet Musicby Dr. Kevin Leman (a book on "uncovering the secrets of sexual intimacy") and have been reading it together. After only the first two chapters we've had some positive discussions about our sex life that we otherwise would not have had. I cannot recommend reading enough with your wife.

And if you're still not sure about a Christmas present, let me recommend buying a relationship book that the two of you will read through together. A gift like this shows your wife that you want to continue to grow in your relationship together. It also is something that will force you to spend some quality time together (like a chapter a night before bed, for example). And to make sure there's not any misunderstanding, tell her in her card (or write in the book cover) that you love her very much, and that you want to learn how to love her more. Tell her you appreciate your marriage, and you want to continue to grow as a couple together. All that to say, if you're relationship is on the rocks right now, be careful in how you present this book to her. (Presentation is like 99% of communication.)

So be sure to check out the new book store. Just so you know, there is a section with books just for the husbands, a section for the wives, and a section with books for the two of you to read together.

Hope you enjoy!

The Key To A Woman's Heart

My wife and I watched Finding Forrester for the first time in a long time last night, and there was a quote by Sean Connery's character that just really stuck out to me.

"The key to a woman's heart is an
unexpected gift at an unexpected time."
Wow. Talk about one sentence full of a whole lot of truth.

Recently a married couple I know was going through some tough times and one of the wife's complaints was how everything in her marriage was so absolutely predictable. It was around the wife's birthday and the husband left her birthday card out on the breakfast table. When he sneakily inquired later as to whether or not she got it, her response was, "Of course I did. It's in the same place you put it every single year."

An unexpected gift at an unexpected time.

The reason this is such an award-winning idea is that women need to feel loved, and feelings — like many things in life — can get stale when exposed to the same thing over and over. Your wife expects that you're going to get her a card and flowers on Valentine's Day. It's Valentine's Day, it's what you're supposed to do. But the key to her heart is going beyond her expectations. A card and flowers today, for example.

Why is this such a big deal? Because when you do something nice for her at an unexpected time, you are telling her that you have been thinking about her without anyone telling you to. You are telling her that you love her so much that you think about her even when you're apart. It makes your wife feel valued. It lets her know that she is loved.

And the great thing is that these unexpected gifts don't have to be big (though they should be sometimes, though). Straightening up the house before she gets home tells her that you know how much she appreciates it. Calling her while you're at work just to say "I love you" can go a long way. Get creative, but when you hit a sweet spot don't think you can always default to that. Part of why it was so great was because it was a surprise. Don't "surprise" her with the same thing every day.

Sure, your wife knows that you love her. But when was the last time unexpectedly showed her?

An Apology

I got a comment the other day on something I've wanted for a long time to apologize for for, but just haven't taken the time to write out.

As you all are aware, I use Google's AdSense on this site. I do this for two reasons: to support this website and to provide other resources to the readers. I want this to be a place of resources on having a better marriage, and AdSense is one way that can happen. If I ever hit the $100 mark (the magical amount before Google cuts you a check), I will have this domain name paid for, and would like to use the money to buy different things to give away through this site.

Unfortunately, as some of you may have noticed, there are a lot of trash sites out there that are out to destroy marriage. Tragically we get ads for "Married But Looking" and "Meet Married Women Dating" and the like. Google does provide a way to block sites, but it takes a few minutes, and I feel like it is a never-ending battle.

I apologize for not working on this harder for you. For a husband in a struggling marriage, this is the last thing I want to tempt you with. I want to let you know that I am going to try and keep after this much more frequently than I have.

Thanks for understanding,

A Husband

UPDATE:

Unfortunately, I have AdSense set up through Blogger itself, and so I do not control the code. I have no idea how to filter ads when it is set up this way, and do not currently have the time to do it the manual way. I have it set on key words now, which may be worse (let me know what you think), but if anyone knows how to use the ad filter set up through Blogger, please let me know.