Be Most Thankful For Your Wife

I don't know how many of you have the tradition where you go around the table and say what you're thankful for, but for those of you who do, this year I'm encouraging you to be most thankful for your wife.

Put together a small list of reasons why you are thankful for her (and include something fun, like being a great kisser or something like that), and in front of the whole family, single your wonderful wife out and show her how much you love her. Embarrassing? Maybe. But public affirmation of your wife is an incredible way to create intimacy in your relationship.

For those who might not do the whole around-the-table thing, do take an opportunity to get serious with your wife, and tell her how thankful you are for her. And then tell her why!

And for those who may be struggling in their marriage this Thanksgiving, this is an especially important task for you. Your marriage may be on the rocks, but I know that there are things you are thankful for. Think hard, then express them. Express them.

And for a little interaction, I would love for everyone to share one reason why you are thankful for your wife.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

—A Husband

Are You Good At Being Wrong?

Humans, by nature, don't like to be wrong. Men, especially, hate being wrong. Have you even been around that someone who's never wrong even though everyone around him knows that he is? Question for today is: How often is that person you?

I remember when I was younger I would get pretty frustrated with people that refused to be wrong when they were obviously very much wrong. I didn't even like it when it was even done jokingly because it seemed to set that person up for in-apporach-ability (?) when it came to the serious stuff. I made the decision at a young age that I would always be willing to be wrong.

One day, before my wife and I were married, we were playfully arguing over something we both were sure that our take on the matter was fact. When it turned out that I was incorrect, I just casually mentioned to her, "I was wrong, I'm sorry." She didn't say anything because were already focused on something else, and I thought I'd never hear about it again.

Until a long time later.

On our drive to another town to celebrate our first wedding anniversary, we were going through some discussion questions in a book that were meant to get you talking about things. One of the questions was something like, "What things do you really appreciate about your mate?" Much to my surprise, she said she liked how I could admit when I was wrong, and then she used the example of that (seemingly) forgotten moment which took place many months before. Though she never said a word that day, she had stored up that moment in her heart and added it to a list of things that meant a lot to her.

It's hard to admit being wrong, but the benefits (especially in marriage) are so worthwhile. I love knowing that my wife is not afraid to bring up things she knows I disagree with. I love never hearing a frustrated, "Fine! Whatever you say!" come out of her mouth. I never want my wife to feel like she can't approach me, or question the facts of a story, an event, a receipt, or anything.

Remember, even in a situation where both of you are absolutely positively sure that your take on a story is right, one of you isn't. Personally, I've gotten into the habit of saying, "Maybe I'm wrong, but I was pretty sure it happened like this..." Just the acknowledgment that it might be your inaccurate memory — and not your pride — goes a long way.

So how about you? How good are you at being wrong?

Saying 'I Love You' First

You know those awkward situations when you're standing around with the guys, get a call from you wife, and she ends it with, "I love you." For some reason it can be pretty awkward to have to mumble back those three little words without feeling some sort of embarrassment or uncomfortableness, and oftentimes our friends nearby will make a big deal about it.

I know of a powerful and effective way to improve your marriage and take away that awkwardness: Say "I love you" first.

This may seem a little backwards if you are one of those guys who feels uncomfortable saying "I love you" no matter who says it first, but I promise this trick is empowering and does get easier the more you do it.

Being the one to initiate the "I love you" is a great way to show your wife that you really do love her, especially if she knows you are standing around with your friends. Also, since you were the initiator, the guys standing around you will have little to say about it. (Though they will probably say a few things as you transition into this "new you.")

Words are powerful; they can build up or tear down. Silence is also very powerful, and usually only tears down. The old joke, "I told you I loved you when I married you and if anything changes I'll let you know" is unacceptable. Our wives needs to hear the words. If the last time you willingly told your wife that you loved her was when you proposed, it's time to start a new habit. Like all unfamiliar actions, it may be uncomfortable at first, but it's well worth the effort.

Your assignment today: Tell your wife that you love her before she tells you. Whether it's easy or difficult, make it a point to be the first one who verbally loves today.

iAMHUSBAND 24 Hour Challenge

You have twenty-four hours to complete the following assignment. Ready, go.

THE TASK

Remember back when you and you wife were dating and you used to buy her all sorts of gifts? What happened to that?

Today's challenge is go out and buy your wife a $15.00 gift. There is one stipulation, however: you may not buy her flowers. Get creative, think of the things she'd buy for herself if she had 15 extra dollars. Show her that you know her.

Then come back and share what you did.

Ready, go.

How Often Do Married Men Masturbate?

At the beginning of September I began a series on masturbation in the marriage relationship. At the same time I opened up a poll in the sidebar to hopefully get a feel for what kind of things husbands were actually doing behind closed doors. The results were most definitely very interesting.

In the two months I left the poll open, 736 husbands voted. Out of those 736, 80 said that they never do it at all, 223 said they occasional self-serve, and 433 admitted to masturbating frequently.

I honestly have to tell you that I was surprised that the majority of husbands (who, in all scientific fairness, are the ones who search and participate in this stuff online) were in the "frequent" category. When I began the series, I knew masturbation was common among married men, but I didn't figure that those men would be doing it so much. It would be interesting to find out how often those men are making love with their wives, but unfortunately I didn't set up the poll that way.

What does this all mean? I'm not really sure. I'm definitely of the belief that if married men are masturbating that the should be doing it much more occasionally than they do frequently. (Wow, how's that for a sentence?!) For more on my personal thoughts on the whole thing, you can check out the beginning of the series here.

I'm interested to know what you think about these numbers. Do they surprise you? Do they make you feel angry? relieved? confused? What things come to mind when you realize that out of 736 men, 59% of them are frequently participating in masturbation?