My wife and I watched Finding Forrester for the first time in a long time last night, and there was a quote by Sean Connery's character that just really stuck out to me.
unexpected gift at an unexpected time."
Wow. Talk about one sentence full of a whole lot of truth.
Recently a married couple I know was going through some tough times and one of the wife's complaints was how everything in her marriage was so absolutely predictable. It was around the wife's birthday and the husband left her birthday card out on the breakfast table. When he sneakily inquired later as to whether or not she got it, her response was, "Of course I did. It's in the same place you put it every single year."
An unexpected gift at an unexpected time.
The reason this is such an award-winning idea is that women need to feel loved, and feelings — like many things in life — can get stale when exposed to the same thing over and over. Your wife expects that you're going to get her a card and flowers on Valentine's Day. It's Valentine's Day, it's what you're supposed to do. But the key to her heart is going beyond her expectations. A card and flowers today, for example.
Why is this such a big deal? Because when you do something nice for her at an unexpected time, you are telling her that you have been thinking about her without anyone telling you to. You are telling her that you love her so much that you think about her even when you're apart. It makes your wife feel valued. It lets her know that she is loved.
And the great thing is that these unexpected gifts don't have to be big (though they should be sometimes, though). Straightening up the house before she gets home tells her that you know how much she appreciates it. Calling her while you're at work just to say "I love you" can go a long way. Get creative, but when you hit a sweet spot don't think you can always default to that. Part of why it was so great was because it was a surprise. Don't "surprise" her with the same thing every day.
Sure, your wife knows that you love her. But when was the last time unexpectedly showed her?