August 20, 2008

The Husband And The Toilet Seat - Part II

My wife was raised in an all-girl family, not even her dad was in the picture. For her whole growing-up life she only knew the toilet seat down and the bathroom cleanliness of women.

One night my wife and I were guests at a friend's house for a get-together. Early on in the evening I went to use the restroom. As I was standing there going I noticed a bouncy ball on the floor next to the toilet. My first and last thought about the matter was, "There's no way I'm touching that."

A little later in the evening, however, my wife walked out of the bathroom bouncing a little rubber ball. A little worried, I asked her where she got that and she said, "In the bathroom." Disgusted I asked, "Wasn't that laying right next to the toilet." "Yeah." As I relayed my disgust for what she had done she said, "It wasn't in the toilet. Are you saying you guys just pee on the floor?"

It was at this moment I had to explain to my wife The Splash Factor.

She was in shock and didn't want to believe it. She could not comprehend how if you aimed straight into the toilet how there could be such a mess. I explained how it's more of a misting really, caused by the pressure of the stream and the height of the "faucet." Thankfully there was another girl there who grew up with several brothers and she confirmed what I was trying to explain.

All of this is to say, Splash Happens. But what I wanted to say in regard to the husband's relationship with the toilet seat is, when we do make a visible mess, clean it up. When you have those occasional wide misses, or if you notice after a while that there seems to be some yellow build up along the rim, just take some toilet paper, wipe it up and flush it down with the rest. It's an extremely simple way to help out, especially if you're not the one who actually cleans the toilets in your home.

I also really think this is a valuable tool to teach our young boys. It instills a sense of cleaning up after yourself and, if you can get them putting the lid down after they're done, you'll be preparing them to be great roommates with their wives.

Because if you don't want to clean it up, why in the world do you think she would?

Related Reading: The Husband And The Toilet Seat - Part I


  1. thank you for this post. I am a wife-to-be (November 22nd!) who has had many conversations with my fiance about this "splash factor" you speak of. I too grew up with all women and could not comprehend that a mess could be made unless you simply weren't paying attention. You've made my accusations-to-be far less likely for my future husband. Thanks for the info and for being here. I found this site because it's bookmarked on his computer; which makes my heart full just knowing he's already trying to be the best husband he can be. kudos to you.

  2. Amazing. I had this same conversation with my wife just a few weeks ago. She asked why I had to put the toilet seat 'up' and couldn't just aim better!

  3. Ahh... The "Splash Factor". I knew there must be a name for the reason for the ugly yellow sludge surrounding all of our toilets...

  4. Why can't you guys just sit down? It has a seat.. seats are for sitting. Urinals are for standing up! :) That's my opinion.

  5. Oh my stars ,I never knew of the splash factor! Yuck, My sterile bathroom isn't as sterile as I thought. My husband yelled at me when I spilled some EXPENSIVE pills on the floor ,and scooped them up ,and put them back into the bottle. I said "Geese the floor is cleaned EVERY day. Ewwwww I know now that it wasn't as clean as I thought.

    I went to Abraham Lincolons home ,and he had an outhouse ,and because he was wealthier than most folks he was able to afford two
    um ,spots, side by side, with nice wooden seats......

    I'll bet that Mary never cleaned the place.

  6. Bianka, guys won't sit for the same reason that women insist that the man put the seat down -- convenience. Just think about the difference between the work involved in sitting and standing. It's a pretty big difference.

    Also, I think urinals have a worse "splash factor" than toilets. Maybe it's just because they're only found in public restrooms, but my observation is that stuff gets splashed all over. It's not about (really bad) aim, but about stream pressure and finding the place with the least rebound. This urinal in Amsterdam helps guys find the perfect place:

  7. I've been married for over a year now and I had no idea of the splash factor!!!.... must remember to mop the floor more often....

  8. Just thought I'd let you know that toilet paper doesn't "clean it up" it just makes the mess invisible. Geez use a spray cleaner..even vinegar which is enviro friendly. Leave it next to the toilet and encourage the men in your family to use it.

    The toilet paper solution is not going to make that bouncy ball any less germy. YUK!

  9. I think I love you. You must be doing an amazing job for your wife to still be oblivious to this particular fact of life with men.

  10. Okay.

    First, urine is not feces; unilke feces, which is loaded with bacteria, urine is a sterile fluid. I have worked in a maximum security prison and have lived this truth.

    Second, a study somewhere in Europe a few years ago found that by putting a small logo in the urinal, the "splash factor" was reduced by some significant margin (I forget how much, something like 40%) simply because, even without any instructions to do so, guys universally aimed for the logo.

    So. Now we're getting somewhere.

  11. Dear Husband, I understand you, I´m a husband too,I´m going to post ( on september 1st )an article about an adquired WC method from a friend.Think please,after you read it, trying to explain to my wife the first time she saw me applying this WCM ( i named it WaterClosetMethod ). The bathroom is a very place mostly in the relationship first times.