June 22, 2008

Use Your Manners

We teach children from a very young age to use their manners. Saying "please" and "thank you" becomes a staple of childhood, because learning those things turns us into polite and respectful people — at least that's the idea. For some reason, though, remembering these common courtesies in marriage can become a struggle.

Isn't it interesting that the closer we get to someone the less likely we are to treat them that way? What a funny little quirk about being human. We use our polite words and actions to show respect to complete strangers, but don't do the same for those we say we love the most, leaving them confused, and often hurt.

It's no secret: the more you are around something the easier it is to take it for granted, people included. We can't look at that as an excuse however, we must see it as a challenge.

Do you still say "please" and "thank you" to your wife? Do you apologize when you accidentally bump her or step on her toes? Do you say "Bless you" when she sneezes?*

It is so important to be polite to each other in our marriages because being polite is one of the easiest ways to show someone you respect them. And why in the world would we not want our wives to feel respected?

*Not all people feel the need to be "blessed" when they sneeze. The easiest way to know if your wife is one of those who does is to notice whether or not she blesses the others around her when they sneeze. One of the best ways to know how a person needs to be loved is to recognize how they show their love to others.


  1. If there was a point in our marriage, now 18 years, where we stopped being polite to each other, it passed when we were teaching our children to say please and thank you.

    As we have 2 boys, 12 and 5 years old, we're pretty comfortable being polite to one another.

    (unless the 5 year old was particularly trying during the day, which of course gives her a pass to be a bit surly)

  2. I really enjoyed your post and your blog.
    I think it is wonderful and have added your blog to my list of favorites.
    God bless your work.

  3. This is so true. One day I asked my husband why he spoke to me in such a different manner than he would a stranger in wal-mart, or his co-worker? It really made him stop and think. I don't need him to be drippingly sweet and formal - just speak to me in a respectful and loving way. It's avoided a lot of fights that would come after him barking at me over and over and it just building up until I was mad..and he had no clue.