May 23, 2008

A Better Marriage Through Books

In general men do not like reading (hence the usual 300-words-per-post on this site), but reading can be an amazing way to breathe new life into any project, as we learn from the wisdom of those who have gone before us. This is especially true with marriage.

I found an interesting link to on the blog written by Brent Cole. He wrote, "I've spent a lot of time reading about every topic concerning any job I've ever held, but I've spent very little time reading about parenting or marriage...If the saying 'Show me your wallet and your calendar and I'll show you what's important to you' holds any truth, certainly my reading list would also reflect to some degree what I value."

What an excellent point. We'll read what we have to at our jobs for training. We'll read the instruction manual of a gadget if we run into a problem. In life, we read what we have to read to get the job done, whether we want to or not. But for some reason we don't do that in marriage; we stay confused and stuck in our misunderstandings. And too often confusion and misunderstandings lead to anger and distance.

I challenge the husbands out there to pick up a book on marriage, not because it will solve all your problems, but because it will help you start thinking about how you can solve your problems. There are many great books out there, but I do highly recommend For Men Only (as I have done before) if you're just getting started. It's short – a very easy read – and really helps husbands better understand their wives.

You may not like reading, but your marriage will love it.

Photo by Norby


  1. I used to be a pretty avid reader if one book a month counts. The last couple of years I have really slacked off. Something that has helped me is to buy books on c.d. and keep them in my car or download them on ipod. I have listned to "Every man's battle," "Everyman's marriage," "The strong willed child," and "Wild at Heart" to name a few this year.

  2. T-Dub,

    Thanks for your string of comments, those were a nice surprise to find here.

    I am a huge fan of the Every Man's series and do plan on covering some of those concepts here.

    That's for stopping by and getting involved!

  3. I found Gottman's "Seven Priciples for Making Marriage Work" extremely informative and helpful.

  4. "If Only He Knew" by Gary Smalley was a HUGE help to me when it came to understanding my wife and how I make her feel. A warning--it will probably make you mad at first, but it definately helped our marriage. A must read for all husbands.

    Thanks for the blog. All of us needs advice every once in a while.

  5. His Needs Her Needs by Willard Harley was a great eye-opener for us