April 15, 2008

"Where Are You Right Now?"

I hate when I am in a restaurant and there happens to be a T.V. on within eyesight. It doesn't matter what is on that stupid thing, it seems like I have to look at it every ten seconds or so whether I want to or not. I know that males are visually driven, so this of course doesn't surprise me (having been a male my whole life and everything), but it does get on my nerves.

I became aware of this habit a few years ago when my wife and I would be at a restaurant and seated where I could see a TV. Without fail, I would glance up and stare at it throughout our entire dinner. I didn't do it because I wanted to, but because it was there. It's like I am incapable of good eye contact and quality conversation with another person when there is a television nearby.

Though my wife never said anything, I decided that for me to be better focused on her, I would need to sit with my back to the distraction. Now, when we are walking to our table, I take a quick look at the surroundings and seat myself on the side where I will be least distracted. This has helped me show her that I want to be with her, and not with a football game between teams I don't even care about, or with a commercial about something I don't even want.

So am I alone in this, or can anyone else relate?


  1. Funny you should mention this now. My husband and I the terrible habit of eating dinner in front of the TV at home. In efforts to become more aware of what we were eating, we banned television and reading material and moved meals back to the kitchen table. I have noticed an increase in our conversation and I never even thought we lacked in that area before! BTW - good for you for noticing that in yourself. I think one of the keys of marriage is self assessment.

  2. Heather, thanks for the story. It's amazing how much TV can kill conversation. Eating together at the kitchen table is where relationships can really take shape, and that's the whole premise of the book Sex Begins In The Kitchen.

    William, appreciate you be honest here too, man.

  3. Totally. And so I always try to choose the table and chair where my view is of her and nothing else.

  4. Same here. I've been without TV for years now, and so it really sucks me in when I'm at a restaurant. I have no interest in sports or cars or whatever is always on TVs at restaurants, but dang, those flickering lights suck me in anyway. My gal and I both have this problem, having not really grown up around much TV, so we both try to choose a spot away from a TV.