April 22, 2008

The Gapless Fly

So every Christmas I get new underwear in my stockings. It's one of those strange family traditions brought over from my wife's side of the family (beats the fruit my mom used to throw in there "from Santa"), and as I am a boxers and boxer-briefs kind of man, I enjoy getting to see what fun designs or new styles might show up every Christmas morning.

This last Christmas I opened a three-pack of boxer shorts to discover a new breakthrough in underwear technology - Hanes' Gapless Fly. As soon as I saw it I knew it was genius. I've never been one of those guys who walks around the house in nothing but his boxers, and one of the reasons has been because of the way those babies can just pop open and proudly display what's underneath. I had a simple rule: No button = No struttin'.

I don't know what kind of black magic Hanes employed to manufacture these things, but I think this is a great advancement to the already much-too-complicated process of buying underwear. Will underwear help you have a better marriage or be a better husband? Probably not, but I just thought I'd share the discovery.

But I do like hearing my wife tell me I look cute in a new pair, though.


  1. Undies for Christmas is a tradition in my family, too. I may have to tell Santa about these; I'm tired of sewing the fly shut on traditional boxers.

  2. Are you kidding? That gap has provided untold cumulative hours of comedy for my wife!